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11:40pm 30/04/2006
 
mood: drained
Here is some poems I made this week. I love rhymes, that is mostly what this is all about.

Upon the Hill, the window sill,
Of flowered dreams I sow,
Both night and day they often say,
"He really is quite the ho."

With tooth and nail I shall assail
Your light bespeckled frame;
In timely drab I like to grab
Your consciousness - for shame!

For sooth, you see, I'll always be
A knick-knack on the top
Of dresser drawer, no not the floor
I clean not with a mop!

Over hills of window sills
With broken dreams incline
By copper mills as azure chills
Run softly up your spine.

The silver line with amber twine
Wrapt quick with sodden fears
The ancient dine on roasted kine
You watch and drop your tears.

Oh come what may, "Have fun!" they'll say
No tiresome truths need know
They "hip-hooray" most every day
While silent weeds do grow.

But dark dismay cannot allay
What doth bejoued gestate
The faint sunray, the twilit fray
Shew Best-beloved's Hands of fate.

A flowered heart, you'll never part
Far from my winsome head.
Your silken hair, and skin so fair,
Our distance do I dread.

With improbable dreams, you line the seams
Between my doddy thought:
You clench me quick, unknowing trick,
By what I've always sought.

Death and doom may broil and boom
Of sunshine shivers I feel
A bemused embrace, amused your face,
While slivers of hope congeal.

But never again to know you when
Away, so far you'll go.
I die inside, with emotive pride,
But I'll ensure you never know.

So here I stand, my castle of sand
No red balloons for me.
You're on your hill, a smile must-will
Be ever enough for me.

I'm sitting in less noise and din
Than where the others are
The wind blows round, while I hear the sound
Of children and a car.

My mind is gone, naught to be drawn;
This well has long run dry
With empty words, as sing the birds,
I pass my time on by.

You do not care, Just do your hair
The chitinous hearts abound
Of utter sin, your nails, your skin,
In materialism I'm drowned.

Environment’s shot, go smoke your pot
The riot's a languished loss
There's none but me (you'll never see)
Beyond the jejune gloss

My lungs are burning with thoughts and yearning
Far from this hellish hole
With crying children a dying pilgrim
Of hope upon my knoll.

They'll never say, "You saved the day!"
For all you save is money
The drastic cloud, the empyreal shroud
Sticks to my mind like honey.

A broken home is all I've known
No well-run story's told
Stuck in this lee, no shouts or glee
Just worthless words are sold.

Run quick, escape, make haste to drape
A sodden fancied frown
Across my face, tired of my space
The flower's withdrawn and brown.

Sick to disgust, so emo, must
Be quick to find some joy
Ideal far gone, no sweet-sweet song
With mud my heart does cloy.

Make sound not sense as recompense
For years of logic adjourned
My cheek turns up, half-smiling cup
Of bitter trails sojourned.

There is a girl, eyes of pearl
Her hair is cross her face
With love of life, and youthful strife
I long for her embrace.

To sing and dance, to chant and prance
A night is oft' well-spent
By light of moon, we'll save you soon;
Your plight my heart has rent.

Her nose and hair, a girl so fair,
My loss I must describe
By taunts and glares, by half-crazed stares
I ruined what would inscribe

People are brooks, lives of books
Our mind's eye floats on down
With words we shape, their heart's skin nape
The tongue's the pen that drowns.

Here am I, standing by
A life soon to begin.
I hope and wait, but nothing sates
This burning dream within.

The walrus is in, from tasty sin
He's eaten every last clam
That dodgy bouquet, a silent callay
Mystical manifest dram.

Freewheeling blue seal, in loving ordeal
Implanted the ghost of the deep
A crabby ink boat, a shabby mink coat
Liquidine meat between seep.

The crows overhead bite your nose until dead
Soul from steel pedal has deigned
Till eyes full of sight, fill with sighs that just might
Take my dreams ip in hands that waned.

Bald sailors have drunk, soaken tales that have sunk
To the bottom of the empty tank
Like a bloated mixed funk in a pile of junk
This test really turned out quite rank.

Your way now wend, this is the end,
I'm finished with you now.
The poem's done; the song is sung,
You are a filthy sow.

I loved writing it. Reading it was fun for my ears. I hope you agree at least halfway.
 
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10:29pm 30/04/2006
 
mood: excited
Jesus has dimples.

But you can't see them because of his beard, so it works.

I love being emo and happy. Today is a happy day.

The winter is gone forever.

I went to the Invisible Children protest last night.

It was beyond my words.

But I'll try.

We played drums and danced and chanted for hours.

We talked and laughed and talked for more hours.

I got to meet some new and really awesome people, I will list them now.

First I met Charles. He has lots of hair and is charismatic. He doesn't look his age.
Then I met Matt. He smoked weed and offered me some but I declined.
Then I met Joshua. He's a writer and we talked about God and life. He's a good guy.
Then I met lots of drummers. They were awesome and shared their instruments with me.
Then I met these three chicks. One likes dancing, one likes jews, and the other was quiet. They all rock.
Then I met a hobo. He was crazy. He talked to people who weren't actually there. I shook his hand.
Then I met Bobby. He made the Invisible Children film. He's pretty cool, and very effeminate.
Then I met Jerb. He let me play Didjiri-doo. Everyone got angry. It was taken from me by a angry priest.

Then I just chilled w/ Charles and the three chicks, which was very fun. Except for when I got smacked in the nuts. That was decidedly un-fun. Although it was fun pushing genebebe's face. She has button eyes. I had to push them. It was also fun creeping out Charles with homsexual jokes. It was funny, cause I just met them, but I felt very comfortable the whole time, like I'd known them for years. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I hope I meet them again someday.

Then this guy came up and asked for a smoke and started talking to me and wouldn't go away.
I was creeped out at first, but I think he was lonely, so i didn't tell him to go away cause he was weird or anything, cause I'm usually the same way.

It also turned out he used to breakdance, so we talked about that a lot.
And he used to be a street performer and we both do the exact same kinda stuff for fun.
And he is a firefighter and loves to help people.
And he's taking night courses to become a doctor so he can help more people.

He turned out to be one of the coolest people I met that night.

I shoulda taken more pics of people.

I don't have any of the kids I hung with the most, and that sucks.

I don't know why, but I'm really excited. Like something big is about to happen.


"Life is waiting to begin."
 
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short story   
12:19am 07/09/2005
 
mood: exhausted
Once upon a time, there was a kid. They were mild-mannered and generally happy with their lot in life. As any other life, it had ups and down, but overall it was pretty good.

They would go fishing with friends, or bowling, or golfing. They had fun.

But sometimes, sometimes they did not have fun. Sometimes they were sad. They sat inside a lot and didn't always seem to do things right. They made stupid mistakes sometimes and this made them feel terrible.

For a little while they even got into a mild depression.

But things would always get better. It would always go in cycles, peaks and valleys.

One day, when they were in one of those dread valleys, they were feeling very, very badly.

They turned to a friend, not someone they hung out with a lot, but one that they trusted well, and asked,
"Do you ever think about killing yourself?"

They trusted their friend as they'd known one another for some time now. They knew they would be consoled by their friend. They knew they would be encouraged.

Their friend just nodded.

"Every day."



End
 
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11:53pm 14/06/2005
 
mood: tired
I'm so tired. But I can't sleep.

All I wanna do is sleep. I don't wanna go to school. I don't wanna do my homework. I don't wanna do anything really.

All I wanna do is sleep.

Then I wanna wake up and go on a run, I wanna run by myself until my legs turn stiff and I can't any more.

Then I want to shower and wash away all the filth from running. Then I can be clean.

I want to lay in a meadow and watch the clouds move through the sky. I just want to stare at the sky.

After I sleep, while I sleep, before I sleep. If I could do anything now I would leave the city, find a meadow and sleep in it.

That's all I want. Just to get away.

Not in an emo sort of way, not so people will come out and be like, aw, you're all alone, I'll be your friend.

That's not for me.

I want to be alone so I can think about life. So I can think and dream and daydream and let the warmth of the summer wash over me and melt away any coldness that's leftover from winter.

Sometimes I don't feel like I'm going through life, sometimes it feels like life is going through me.

I wish I could see the other side of the fence. I hear it's greener. I hope so.

It's real late. Later than I usually stay up at least.

I wish I could escape, dissociate, curl up in my shell and sleep.

I used to sleep for 18 hours a day just so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone or do anything. I miss it.

Now I have to depart. I school in 6 hrs. sleepin now.

piece
 
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05:53pm 30/05/2005
 
mood: calm
A good weekend. I climbed some muddy rocks at hidden pond park, by myself and then with friends twice. That was fun. I wonder how the pictures from there look.

Swimming for money was good. Warm water, some garbage, covered in dirt and muck, all in a day's work for me.

I'd probably do that for free next time I'm over there, but only if someone told me too. Maybe. Tabun.

Bryan is an awesome dude cause he said he likes my journal. Hurray for me!

Watchin movies at Diron's house was pretty cool. I got to laugh at people and be laughed at and with. I like how life is pretty fair like that. I get laughed at a fair amount, but then I can laugh at others, and that makes it all good.

"If the world could remain in a frame and we could see it on the wall then I think we'd see the beauty of it all."

That's a good line. I like it.

I got to make a hide-out in Target. Between all the strollers me an Dave hollowed out a hidey-hole and then we stole pillows and carpets from the bedding section and we made it all comfy and homey. I wonder if it's still there.

Before that we had built a castle out of boxes in the cabinet aisle. Some asian dude laughed at it and we ran away.

Then we built another, bigger one out of water bottles in the drink aisle. It was pretty big. After that we went home.

We also stopped by a pool and talked to Kait and saw an anorexic-looking girl. It was kinda gross and sad. I could see her bones.

I was up till 3 on saturday and friday night. That was pretty cool. Just sittin and talkin to ppl. One of the most chill moments of my life. People who do drugs to be chill really make me mad. You don't need them for any of that. That's a waste of brain cells.

I've made so many calls on my phone this weekend. I'm so glad it's free.

What a great weekend.

I hope summer is just as great.
 
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03:45pm 17/05/2005
 
mood: restless
Man, what a life I lead. Sometimes I wish I could fly. Then my life would be perfect. Flying is like perfection.

I have a ton of candy cause someone had a pinata today. It was her b-day. I'm mostly certain her name is Stephanie, but I'm really bad with names so it might not be.

It's funny, you kinda know someone and never talk to them much and then you finally do and you realize you have a lot in common. I like that. It makes me smile.

My new shoes make me smile too. I found em in a garbage can. They're real nice though, I hafta go buy nicer clothing to fit them. I think I will. I'm gonna go buy nice clothing to fit the shoes I got in a garbage can. I'm sucha dork.

I need to be careful I don't get a big head, I was actually considering saying, I'm so cool. But cool-ality is justan illusion, a dumb one. So I wrote I was a dork, because only a dork would spend so much time thinking about this.

My paragraphages all begin with an M or an I, I just noticed that. M I I M I M. hmm, my first initial and the letter I. I think that could represent an unconscious but extreme level of egocentristic thinking. Perhaps due to an unresolved conflict in my childhood. Psychology is funny. Kinda boring, but funny.

My thoughts are wondering, my nose is stinking, my feet are wrapped in shoe.

What to do.

Everyone's out playing ultimate frisbee while I'm sitting inside typing on my livejournal and waiting for myspace to come back online while I put off homework and wait for a phonecall that was supposed to come half an hour ago. I'm a loser (baby, so why don't you kill).

That song's annoying.

Psychology was so nice today. I just listened to Bright Eyes on my headphones and read pychological crap and then I took a nap with my teddy bear. It was sweet (as in cool, not as in cute, cause I'm a man and men aren't cute, we're robust).

Tommorrow is a new day. dang, I forgot to help Kelly take her phone back. Oh well, I'll do it tommorrow.

Except I know I won't. I shoulda done it today. I think we all need to do things today cause if we're always gonna do things tommorrow they'll never get done and life'll just pass us by.

"The One whose throne is in heaven sits laughing." Psalms 2:4b

Too true.
 
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04:33pm 26/04/2005
 
mood: content
TV is ending. this makes me happy.

I only took one picture of the retreat this weekend, and it was after we got home. I wonder if there's a second meaning there. I could make one up, probably. But I doubt I will. I'll just let the idea sit in my mind, half formed.

Thoughts are kinda like aeroplanes. Some are jets and work at unimaginably fast speeds, some are passenger planes and help lift others to the sky, and some just blow up in the hangar. Mine tend to do that.

boop, boop boop. boop. boop boop, bum bum boop dum duh dum boop boop. boop, boop boop [insert clip] the who do voodoo people! boop, boop boop! boop bip boo bee boop boop boop burp. ..

Techno is pretty.

Pretty messed up.


My room smells like insects. It reminds me of hiking through the mountains when I was younger. Once my camp councilor killed a snake and ate it for dinner. It made me laugh. He went to Papua New Guinea.

I used to have a stick from pennsylvania. I wonder where it went. Probably decomposing(ed) in my yard.

I got the forms for Tri-state, camp will be lovely this year. I hope to get fireworks and stuff beforehand this year. It will be so frigging awesome. I can hardly wait.

I wish school were done. I ran to McDonalds and got two burgers for lunch in five minutes between my third and fifth period classes. It was good to get away for a few moments.

I might do it against tommorrow. I'll hafta be quick tho. Like Super Mario. Wheehoo!
 
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12:36am 14/04/2005
 
mood: excited/pissy
good lord I'm tired.

can't wait for the retreat.

gonna get my prankage on.

gonna have a crazy time.

gonna eat some pie.

I can't wait! augh!!!!!!

beware pastor paul, cause we're gonna have a lotta fun at your expense!

woohoo!

goodness I hope he doesn't get into our room somehow or i'll go flippin crazy.

He did that at our winter retreat and it really sucked a bunch cause he kept bitchin about our noise-makage.

This time we'll make twice the noise. Loud music about sex and drugs will be playing all night. It will be lovely.

Sex, drugs, rock & roll, and jesus are the only things allowed at this retreat. dear god that sounds corny doesn't it?

Ah well, that's cool cause I don't care cause that's exactly how it'll be. Minus the drugs and sex.

Which reminds me, everyone who reads this, remind me when you see me to read the women's study book on sexual purity (I forget the name) because I am hearing some disturbing things are written in them, and if I find out they are true, then I'm gonnat track the author(s) down and punch them in the ovaries. And then in the mouth.

Stupid writers, messing with people's minds.

I'll mess their minds all right...

that really makes me angry though. And not much does. I mean, truly angry. That's just not right, the stuff they're sayin.

Ah well, it'll turn out okay cause I think we all have learned that the books chosen for our small groups are a buncha BS anyway.

What is up with that anyway?????? We need somethin worth talking about.

Now i'm all pissy. Dangit. I hate being pissy. This is all those ignorant adults faults. Why can't they just listen to us? I mean, honestly. If we are capable of taking college courses, then you'd think we could handle a real, honest-to-god STUDY w/o all that condescending crap they give us ("well, in the ADULT study we would do it this way...blah bla blah")

Aw man, now this has turned into a whiny entry. crapola.

I guess I'll just stop writing now.

Bleh!
 
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08:06pm 13/04/2005
 
mood: dirty
tommorrow i'm a hobo.

I like being dirty. and by that I mean grungy, not sexy.

I'm going to keep my lunch in my hat.

and I'll wear gloves.

but not underwear, it chafes.
 
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06:24am 11/04/2005
  I smell like cocoanut and sugar! It is 6:24 morning-time and I am wide awake. I showered. Then I put on some moisterizing stuff and now I'm clipping my toenails.

As I cut my nails I was thinking. I forget what I thought about.

It is now 6:29 morning-time. I have weight-training. I remember! I thought of what I was going to wear. My laundry is all dirty and I don't really know if I have time to wash it. I doubt I do. Even if I did, by the time I'm done writing this I probably will have used up a lot of my precious-little free time.

I'm going to pray and stuff now. Because it's morning and I realized now that's what mornings are best used for.

Ok, it is 6:36 and I need my lunch for today so I'm gonna grab some food and make it.

I might be ADD sometimes. And dyslexic. But I'm unsure. Nor do I care. I'm gonna go into my day now. bye
 
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09:19pm 10/04/2005
 
mood: honest an free, not mere happy
grunt. I don't need a title. I'm never very honest, I'm never very me on these things, these journals. I'm a very blunt person in my mind. Blunt and understood.

Language is a buncha suck. I wish I could dump my mind inside your ear and you'd be like, "oh, THAT's what he is."

yeah. capital letters bother my back. I was going to say eyes, but I don't feel the bother in my eyes, I feel it in my back. I have bad posture, that's why.

The letter I and sentence beginnings. That's where capitals can be. And Anywhere I Want. Just not everywhere.

grumble grumble onomotopeia bleh

I wanna go rock climbing, I miss you. I'm not saying this to anyone, I'm saying it to everyone. I'm alone in my room now and my family is dumb. So, if you are reading this, know that I miss you, whoever you are.

[insert cheesy ending]

women are sexy, but men are just plain better
 
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05:27pm 07/04/2005
 
mood: nostalgic
Tommorrow I get to see my Oneesan. It's been a long time since we walked down the road, sippin' a soda. It'll be fun. I also might get high. I don't have money so I won't be able to keep that sort of thing up, but I think that's good. It's a lot of fun smoking up, but it's not for me. It would be nice if I could, but I have had so many problems in my family that I won't. As little as I like them, they are what I got so I should at least try to be good.

I miss being little. I miss the long summer afternoons in the mud. The games of smear the queer and american eagle 1-2-3. I miss all the fun I once had. I wish it'd come back.

I'm trying to slow life down now. Do all my work early. Be with people. Have fun and not stress. But it's hard sometimes. But that's good; life's not supposed to be easy.

Life = summer

West Virginia, church, and friends are what make my life worth it. I can escape from everything there. Be what I want. Camp is like that too. Life is what we make of it.

I feel like an emo-thief. I steal other people's music. I have mentioned this before, but I still feel bad about it. Why must everyone else hear of good music? I wish I could find my own cool bands and not have to steal other people's ideas. From Diron I get Anberlin, from Angela I've found Neutral Milk Hotels, from Jon I've found Demon Hunter, from Doug I started listening to Metallica (that was waaay back), the list goes on. I have found only one band on my own (36 Crazyfists) and nobody has even heard of them.

Why can't someone steal my music? Do I have bad taste? I am unsure. I guess my taste is just so varied. I like everything. Except I don't really care for Polka or Big Band. But no one does.

I wish I could go outside and hang out with friends. And I wish I could lay down on a hammock while the warm wind blew and the sun smiled down and I could just drift off to sleep while they all played cards or talked or something out on the dirt.

I love dirt. It smells good and it makes for a nice seat. I'm gonna go outside and laze about my backyard.
 
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11:02pm 04/04/2005
 
mood: Smile-y
What's so funny bout peace, love, and understanding?

I've been listening to A Perfect Circle's new(ish) album and it has some pretty good songs.

Today I decided to give up coffee...and just eat the beans. I hear it works real good. Speaking of real good, something else that's real good is the fact that I have showered every single day for over a week now, woohoo! This is a first, I must admit. I think I just might continue to do it.

I have a Mt Dew here on my desk and I must let it wait till tommorrow before I partake of it's sweet, caffienated goodness.

I'm kinda mad though (about something unrelated). I was gonna go to WV on Sunday but it snowed. Now I gotta wait till May. But I guess that works, cause that way it'll be all nice and warm and almost the summer. I can't believe how warm it's been getting. Today I broke the shades on my window and my room was filed with sunlight. So I sunbathed on my bed. It was nice, I fell asleep.

And now I shall sleep again.
 
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12:58am 02/04/2005
 
mood: content
Today has been like a lucky penny, a bright and shiny addition to my piggy-bank of memories. And the "a penny saved..." aphorism could apply here as well. I get to go on a trip to WV on Sunday! I'll spend the day in the town and maybe even get to see Josh and Walter and everyone. I can hardly wait. I've been waiting all year to go back. It's like a home-coming, or a holiday. I guess it would be a holiday, a holiday in the way that Biblo Baggins had in The Hobbit. A much needed one.

This week has been so fast and tiresome. I showed daily, I did all the homework I could find (I would've done all of it, but I forgot some stuff), I went places almost every day, I finally got to see Camryn after weeks of waiting. Yes, it's been a packed week in my usually mundane life. I like it though.

From now on I'm going to always try my best to escape the monotony of life and make mine worth living and all that jazz.

(I think that's the first time in my life I've ever said/thought/typed "all that jazz" in that way.)

Anberlin is so lovely, as is all Emo. Very pretty. It makes me happy. Well, the happy emo does at least, none of that whiny nasal kind though. It hurts my head.

I put some earrings back in last night. Black ones. I like them.

Short, I shall wear shorts tommorrow. It will be lovely. Shorts and flipflops. w/o undergarments. Crapola, it's gonna rain all day and all night. Hmm...I guess I'll be a bit chilly then.

My nose itches.

Man, I actually wish I had school tommorrow. Well, at least I got karate. That'll be fun. I'll get up at no later than 10, hopefully 9ish. Then I'll shower and be all clean.

I actually like being clean it turns out. So long as my hair isn't too long, that is.

Chinese, fried rice and low mein in my fridge to be specific. And soon to be in my belly. That is what I'm gonna go get now. Some chinese for my belly.

Children have tummies, adults have stomaches, and jolly people have bellies. I guess I'm jolly.
 
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11:13pm 28/03/2005
  I love reading other people's profiles. I sometimes feel like I'm invading their privacy or spying or something and I feel bad about that, but I mean, what are profiles for? So I guess I don't feel like it's spying after all. One thing I always do is look at the music people are listening to. If they're crazy about or mention frequently a band I've never heard of or haven't heard the music of, then I download an album or two. Like the other day when I found out about Neutral Milk Hotel. Now I've never really been into folk or indie rock, but this group guy is awesome! He they it are so...I dunno, groovin. It makes me dance in my room. But I always hafta stop cause I'm worried people will come in and laugh. But it's so much fun to listen and sing along with their songs. I believe the singer is Jimmy Mangum. He has an awesome voice for sing-alongs. Listening to his music has made me want to pick up my guitar and play it loudly as I belt out his lyrical madness. It's very fun. And it always cheers me up.

Another good band I've found this way is Anberlin. Another genre I've never cared for really is emo. Well, I guess it's not so bad cause I've fallen in love with Anberlin and Jimmy Eat World thanks to their recent albums. I dunno, I've been finding all this great music lately from this. In the past I've found tons of music and it's always been good. Some of my favorite bands I've stolen from my friends. The Pillows and Demon Hunter are two more examples of this.

I guess I just love music. A lot. I love a lot of things actually. But I particularly love music. I'm gonna lay down for a moment cause my back hurts from my bad posture.
 
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Changing Interests (Part 4)   
04:42pm 27/03/2005
 
mood: content
Interests of 3-27-05

Favorite color: eh, I don't believe in favorites
Girlfriend: Camryn Hutt
Favorite music genres: I like em all
Favorite bands: 36 Crazyfists, Demon Hunter, and Revis are up there...but it depends on my mood, Anberlin is good too.
Favorite food: if I REALLY had to choose, I'd pick Chinese Food
Favorite book of the Bible: Ecclesiastes
Sports: Karate (takin' a break from running)
Current age: 17
Current height: 5’ 7”
Current hair length: practically nonexistant
Current job: I wish
Current pay: nada
Current grade: 11th
Money in wallet: $13.00
Money not in wallet: 80 cents
Hair status: plenty-o-dandruff
Body status: kinda clean
Underwear: not in months


Aspirations (how I'll be when I'm old):

Education: Bachelors of Science (don't care what kind) from the US Naval Academy
Job: something as a Marine Corp Officer
Net Income: eh, $100k is plenty, but I could settle for less
Home: 2 bedroom house, near the beach, in the Carolinas
Family size: 2 kids, maybe more
Hobbies/Sports: Karate and running
 
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Wonderful   
04:31pm 27/03/2005
 
mood: happy
The world has many wonderful things. I'd like to just write a few of them down.

They aren't in an order. They're things that make me feel warm inside.

Smiles (mouths can do lots of things, eat, yell, talk, insult, make war, make peace, but of all the things they can do, the most precious is the smile, and I when I say smile I mean a true, honest smile, the kind that gives you a little window into the smiler's soul; that is truly special)
Laughter (is there anything happier-sounding than a laugh?)
Kids (my best of friends have often been half my height)
Tummies (kids don't have stomachs, they have tummies)
Books (Getting the Girl and Heart's Delight make my spleen quiver)
Flowers (delicate flowers of course)
Seasons (spring for the warmth and new life, summer for freedom, fall for the beauty, winter for the fun and family)
Rain while it's sunny and warm outside and the ground gets all steamy
Cartwheels on a neatly manicured lawn
Friends who will always be there for you
Love and the amazing places it takes us
Music and the emotional, escapist, rollcoaster it allows us to ride
Singing along with a good song with friends, or even by yourself, altho friends make it ten times as good
Dancing the night away, even if you don't know how
God and all of his awesomeness
Hot cocoa on a cold day
Being wrapped in a big snuggly blanket after taking a shower
Being covered in mud
Coloring!
Camryn, the flame that lights my heart afire
A good backscratcher
A clean, new pair of pants that fit and looked good on you
Knowing the answer to every question on a quiz
 
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I've been hit...   
03:55pm 27/03/2005
  ...by a thought while I was typing my words earlier in the last entry. The date should be today about five minutes ago but I messed with it.

But my thought,

When I see my words in my mind I am walking down Old Keene Mill at night.
The lights are orange and fuzzy, like when you have your glasses off.
So I'm walking along the street and there are ideas whizzing by, like hummingbirds, but cold and colorless;
The whole scene is muted, as if in a dream.
Blue coolness from the night is on my hands and ears, my breath is steam
I can reach my hand out and ouch the ideas sometimes
Just for an instance I have it, and then it's gone
Who knows if it'll come back?
I keep on walking

That road is like my life and I keep reaching out onto the street and finding there's more
I keep stepping out from my little part of the road and learning more.

Shift...I'm not at a road anymore, it's bright and sunny
The summer.
I'm at a pool
I jump in face first
I get water up my nose and it's not comfy, but I like it
That's how life should be

Disorienting, uncomfortable, and a lotta fun.
 
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old material I'd like to include   
06:00pm 11/11/2004
 
mood: attempting thoughts...
I don't really remember when I wrote this, I'd just finished reading a good book (Getting the Girl by Marcus somethingorother) and it had poetry in it. I really liked it and felt I should give it a whirl. Here's what I did.

Wandering:
Alone. It is in this state that is my calm.
My mind; a storm; a street.
Walking along the road, the wind sends thoughts and emotions whistleing by.
But I am outside of it all.
I see the thoughts for the fleeting things they are.
A moments.
Life is really just that.
One Long Moment, full of Short Ones.
I seek refuge in the eye, in the peace.
But eyes come in pairs.
I wonder, I wander...
I think I've been looking for it, my other eye.
My other calm.
That is why I wander, wonder...
I do so in hopes that I will find it, or that it will find me;
My other half, my other, my only other.
 
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Changing Interests (Part 3)   
04:40pm 06/07/2004
  Interests In 7-6-04

Favorite color: none
Favorite person: Myself
Favorite music genres: Industrial, Alternative Rock, Digital Hardcore and most types of techno
Favorite music artists: Shane Barnard, Skinny Puppy, System of a Down, and a variety of other artists
Favorite food: Chinese food
Favorite book of the Bible: Ecclesiastes
Current age: 16
Current height: 5’ 6.5”
Current hair length: about 2”
Current job: Einstein Bros. Employee
Current job’s pay: $6.50 per hr, 30-40 hrs per week
Current grade: 11th
Money in wallet: $2.25
Money not in wallet: about two hundred forty eight dollars and eleven cents
Hair status: surprisingly clean
Body status: ditto
Current Sport(s): Cross Country and Karate
Current favorite girl: Mia Maceren/Camryn Hutt
Current best friend: none
 
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